Not Her Luck, but My Blessing

號角月報加拿大版 二零二五年五月

For 16 years, I worked in special education, driven by a deep-seated mission to uplift underprivileged communities. I once believed this would be my lifelong career. However, changes in the education system brought immense pressure—reforms and declining birth rates led to reduced student numbers, smaller class sizes, and cuts in teacher positions. This fostered an environment of competition and deceit among colleagues, leaving the workplace less supportive than before.

At the same time, unresolved personal relationship issues weighed heavily on my emotional health. Hoping to lighten my mood, I went to see a comedy at the theater. Instead, I cried through the entire film. Suppressed emotions began to affect my physical health, leaving me irritable, anxious, and deeply depressed. I felt like a complete failure—worthless and broken.

I prayed constantly, seeking a way out, but my situation didn’t improve immediately. I found myself sinking into despair, repeatedly questioning, what is the purpose of life? Overwhelmed, I walked to the window one day, contemplating a leap as an escape from my pain.

During this time, I met Kiu Kiu, a little girl newly assigned to my class. She was petite, blind, non-verbal, and though her limbs were intact, she couldn’t walk and suffered from a heart condition. Despite these challenges, she had excellent hearing and communicated through her expressive facial expressions. She often wore a warm smile, her eyes shaped like cashews. Somehow, her smiles were contagious—they dissolved my worries and brought light to my darkest days.

From then on, she became my sole motivation for going to work. Each day, I eagerly looked forward to seeing her. She became my source of joy, accompanying me through the most challenging times. I felt deeply that Kiu Kiu was a little angel sent by God to guide and comfort me. In that moment, I made a promise: no matter what the future held, I would love and protect her.

In my free time, I began taking her out for activities to let her experience the world beyond the hospital. However, as a teacher, my actions were not approved by the school administration. When our family’s financial situation stabilized, I made the decision to resign and fully dedicate myself to her care.

Although my husband initially disliked children, I firmly believed that if this was God’s plan, He would bless and pave the way for us. Over time, my husband began to understand and even grew to love her. With unwavering faith and persistence, we have cared for Kiu Kiu together for the past 20 years.

Over these years, Kiu Kiu has become an inseparable part of our family, strengthening our bonds and fostering deep emotional connections. For someone who once disliked children to come to love and embrace a special needs child with disabilities is a transformation that can only be attributed to God’s grace and greatness.

One particularly memorable instance occurred when a few red marks appeared on her forehead. The healthcare staff initially attributed them to mosquito bites. Coincidentally, that same afternoon, she was scheduled for a nephrology checkup in another specialized department. A senior and more experienced doctor noticed the marks and immediately identified them as shingles (herpes zoster), with signs of spreading to her head. Remarkably, he prescribed a rare and expensive medication, ensuring she received the best treatment within the critical 72-hour window.

In another incident, she experienced a life-threatening blockage in her throat due to mucus while at the care home. Her face turned purple, and she was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. When I arrived at the hospital, I was heartbroken to see her frail body connected to numerous tubes. For the first time, I felt utterly weak and helpless, unable to do anything but stand by her bedside and weep quietly.

Thanks to God's mercy and protection, countless angels surrounded her in the form of nurses, therapists, and social workers, who provided her with dedicated care and support. She recovered quickly, but a new challenge arose—she refused to eat. I prayed earnestly for God to restore her ability to eat, knowing that without it, she would have to endure the pain of living with a feeding tube in the future.

The next day, the hospital staff suggested I try feeding her myself. When I arrived at her ward, I found her throwing a tantrum and refusing to eat. I approached her bed, gently stroked her head, softly called her name into her ear, and carefully combed her hair before placing a beautiful hairpin in it. To my surprise, she immediately grabbed my hand and gave me a long-lost smile, as if to tell me how much she missed and had been waiting for me.

With teary eyes, I began feeding her, and she ate happily, bite by bite. God not only saved her life but also showed me that my dedication and love had always been meaningful and rewarding.

One day, during a casual conversation with a church pastor, I asked him, "Will children like her be able to return to heaven?" Understanding my concerns, he replied, "No one knows if she can hear or comprehend the Gospel, nor can anyone be certain whether the Holy Spirit is working within her. Since this is the case, you can try sharing the Gospel with her and making a decision of faith on her behalf."

Following his advice, we explained the simple Gospel to her and helped her make a commitment to Christ and undergo baptism. At that time, we repeatedly asked her, "Would you like the pastor to come to our home to baptize you?" She shook her head in refusal. However, when we mentioned taking her to the church for baptism, she smiled.

In that moment, I was certain the Holy Spirit was at work in her heart. Because of her faith, I am confident that even if we are separated, we will reunite in our heavenly home one day.

Three years ago, the outbreak of COVID-19 caused me to grow anxious once again. I was deeply afraid she might contract the virus at the care home, and that we would be separated forever. Without a second thought, I brought her home, believing I could protect her on my own. However, the quarantine policies at the time filled me with relentless worry and left me sleepless. To make matters worse, after one family dinner at home, I became infected myself. All I could do was pray day and night, asking God to protect this precious little life.

Each day was filled with fear, and the pressure I experienced was beyond words. I am grateful that one day, I happened to hear a radio program where a sister's testimony reminded me: "What God wants to keep, no one can take away; what God wants to take, no one can hold on to." At that moment, it felt as if a heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders. I asked myself, on what grounds did I believe I could control a person's life?

Life’s experiences may bring suffering, but behind every trial lies a blessing. Because of this "little" life, I have learned to rely more on God, as I’ve come to see my own insignificance and limitations. Together, we have supported and grown with one another in faith. In daily life, whether it was her battle with illness or something as small as choking on a fishbone during a meal, we’ve witnessed God’s care and protection.

Our encounter is not her good fortune but my blessing. No matter who we are, God’s love is unwavering and ever-present. In His eyes, every individual holds immeasurable value and has the capacity to make a positive impact on others, regardless of their perceived imperfections. Through her frail body, I have witnessed the profound and wondrous works of God.

I don’t need to constantly think about how to make her happy, because she has already been given the title of "daughter." Isn’t that the greatest blessing God has bestowed?

"We love because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19)

Yankee